Two-brained fighting

The beginning of October here is when nature puts on her finery. Today was clear blue, cool, and the leaves are golden and red. A perfect day for putting on armor and swinging swords.

We have two fighting practices here where we actually talk more than fight, but that's not all bad. We're fortunate to have several knights and highly skilled fighters who help/coach those of us who are new. Sunday afternoon practice isn't well attended by the more experienced fighters, but that allows the focus to be on the newer fighters.

Like alot new fighters, I'm two brained. The switch is stuck at either offense or defense. Probably because I try to compensate for being female and short- I tend to be on the offensive. I press right in swinging without finesse, and as soon as my wide-open head gets clocked, I back down, frustrated that I didn't defend my head again...

I think this two-brained thing is like driving. When I first got behind the wheel, the amount of information was overwhelming. How do I start the car? Can I steer alright? Will I drive too fast? How does this turn signal work? I was physically trying to master the mechanisms of driving as well as learning mental mastery driving. At first, because the overwhelming information, I would process only one unfamiliar thing at a time. "Lets see, to drive I need a key, then I...."

My head was a long list with continual going back and forth between checking ourselves to make sure we were operating the car safely, to verifying that I was progressing toward my destination. Now I take it for granted as I nearly unconcously and continually verify I'm driving safely and getting where I want to go.

I don't think you can do both exactly at the same time, but I do think as you are more exerienced, your checking/verification process speeds up and becomes almost subliminal. I am assuming that this is the same as fighting. Hopefully soon, my fight won't begin with a huge list of information and verifying:

Okay, take my stance- Is my shield up high enough? Remember to to lead my blows with my hip. Should I salute my opponent? There isn't anywhere to hit this guy. Oh, wait, take my weight off my heels. Pull my sword elbow in. Crap, where am I going to hit him? Remember, look my opponent in the eye. I hope I can get a good shot. Dang, all I ever hit is his shield. Try hitting his head again. Can I wrap and get his torso? Uh-oh, here comes his sword. Bang! Damn, another ringing head shot!

When I get hit in the head, especially when it's hard and clean, my little lizard brain (see Ironrose women warriors of the SCA) starts the evil chatter- "You dummy, you left your head open Again!" "Your head is like a neon sign blinking- HIT ME!" I'm trying to stop this negative, reinforcing blather, but it seems the harder I try and kill it, the harder it sticks.

Master Sir Aaron worked with me today, telling me I had essentially no defense with him. The better my opponent's defense, the worse mine gets. I think the reason why is that, when their defense is good, I put more energy into my offense. I'm get more rattled by my oppenent's defense than their offense.

I drilled with Count Sir Tristan awhile back, just defense only. This was good- my shield work and movement improved. Putting this into practice wasn't always working. Today with Sir Aaron, we sparred where I was to only block and wait to throw my only one blow. This worked okay, and my defense was a little better. Then we sparred, with me only doing defense, then he said, "Switch" and then I only did offense, then back and forth again.

I think worked great! I will do this more- and shorten the intervals and work it until I do it automatically myself.